The Sneaky Business of a Credit Card

I owned a credit card. One must know, it is the most dangerous possession a young starter like me could ever own. Unlike in the movie ‘Confessions of a Shopaholic’, I consider myself a very mild one. Yes, I can easily fall in love with unessential things you find in shops. I could fall for the leathery smell of a brand new pair of shoes, or the inviting texture of a silky dress. But see, I wouldn’t shop because I’m having some forms of emotional disturbances. And I certainly do not believe that shopping could make the world a better place.

But when I finally had a credit card, boy do I feel like a millionaire? In my hand lies a smooth, handy and shiny little thing that could make any salesperson say “Hello”, any counter say “Thank You” and any exit say “Till Next Time”. I have a rite of passage for every shop, restaurant, cafés and bars in town. Big or small. Never will I need to wait for the 15th, 30th, quarter, mid, and end of the year bonuses just to get that latest camera that I wanted. I was only a few swipes away from fulfilling most of my worldly cravings. In the first few months, there weren’t any problems. I was always on time for my due dates, even one or two weeks earlier. I wanted to show my bank how good of a client I was. Like a new found friend, I was eager to show that I am someone who deserves so much trust, in the form of available-to-spend balances. I bought the latest gadgets, signed myself up for post paid phone services, completed a series of books from my favorite authoress, and just swiped my card here and there. I did it as if there was no tomorrow, as if my credit card was my one and only hero.

The next thing I knew, I was getting close to my limit. I was aware of it but not careful enough to control my use of it. It even went over the limit. At the back of my head I was thinking; I have a job, I have an income, I can totally pay it. But then goes my monthly rent, my weekly groceries, my summer trips, and a lot more of my extracurricular activities that I just couldn’t give up. Each of them scratches off a significant part of my regular income. Soon I realized that I don’t have any room for my credit card payment anymore. A couple of months later, I failed to slip an envelope to that automatic paying machine. The bills that I received were higher and higher after every cut-off. Yet, even when I’m not swiping, it still goes up and above the credit limit. It reached a point where even a business idiotic like me got crazy about understanding the math behind credit card interests. Because believe me, Investopedia was right when he said that “You usually pay WAY MORE than you owe.”

I ended up calling my emergency numbers, swallowing my pride and wishing that my face and my butt aren’t the same thing. I never thought I’d be so stupid [sorry for the word] to let this thing happen to me. Aside from the most stupid thing [yes, everyone has several ones] that I’ve done, this, also has no valid excuse. And there is no valid excuse as well, for anyone to avoid the same incident. Therefore, I am signing off with a quote that I would like to remember for the rest of my life:

         "Nobody deserves a credit card. Nobody deserves the sneaky business of a credit card."

                                                                                                                                 - M. D.

Need Me Again

You knew me as a child. You and I created a special bond that you had always treasured. Back then, you would cry my name out for each wound you get running around. And your mother had always told you it would make you feel better. Every night, you came to me and said your little prayers. I’d always laughed about your prayers. They were full of questions about the simplest things in the world. You were such a wonderer. Then you kept on growing and expanding your thoughts. Your innocence slowly fading away. Prayers come in once in a while, but not as often as they were. Becoming older meant a lot to you. You felt strong enough to take care of your self. I do not hear my name anymore. For each question you had, you find answers from books you carried around. You have kind of forgotten me, but it was fine. I knew you were busy struggling. Time offered you more chances to learn. You went to this place you thought would teach you about the miracles I made. You learned to explain nature, history, and even knew how to question my existence. Something that I warned myself about long ago. You discovered the mystery of love, in many different aspects. You hated it when people leaves you and you had no choice but accept. Deep inside I know you chose to forget me and maybe blamed me for your tears. But you never said that you needed me. In fact I thought, you wanted me out. Then you sensed that love is coming your way again. And this time you think you have never been this happy.

Your smile shines even more than the sun I bring out every morning. At the sound of the running waters, you make a laughter that fills the air. I hear your heart beat as fast as the lightning that comes before the rain. The rainbow is never enough to color your eyes or to paint your soul in its purest joy. You do not have questions anymore. Life is as transparent as it is. The past and the future seem very clear. But when will you need me again? That I do not know. Once and for all, I just want to tell you, that I need you to need me. Your life is never meaningful without questioning. And my purpose is never satisfied without responding. We are in this journey together. Truly, the one thing you will see from start to end is my undying faith for you. Because I know that whatever life brings you, you will return to that special bond we had. And there you are safe. There, nothing else matters.