Going Dutch

Okay. Since I am on a trip here in The Netherlands (a.k.a. Holland), I figured I should be sharing my thoughts and reactions on how Dutch people live and what their characters are like. If in any case, my opinions are too out there, bear in mind that I do not intend to offend any of my Dutch friends here, neither do I want to flatter any one of them. But by the way things are going, my future might take its place in here. So I would like to take a moment and reflect on my personal observations- highlighting on certain things that I ought to learn, to use and to love.

Now, what I would like to talk about are the following:


The Infamous Three Kisses

When you greet a Dutch friend or family, you give them three kisses. I’m not certain in which direction should one start to kiss but I often do it first on the right cheek. It goes automatically, actually. So maybe in five years, I would have kissed my new Dutch friends way more than my own parents. Do the math.

Awareness

This is the one word I would use to describe how they spend an entire day. First of all, every minute counts for a Dutch person. There’s only a tiny chance for someone to be late for work or for an appointment, must be due to a terrible weather and it’s just really hard to be on a bike. Speaking of the weather, they often know exactly what the temperature is, or would be, for the rest of the week. The weather in The Netherlands always changes, but still is quite predictable. It is always smart to arrange an appointment if you want to get together with someone. A regular weekday is mostly about working and making sure your bills are paid. But on weekends, they certainly know what it is to have fun and replenish- a crazy Saturday night and a restful Sunday evening.


Alcoholism


As much as I like to become more sociable, I hate to order anything with alcohol. Although, it seems like it is a big deal here. Beers and wines are served in every corner, day and night. It is part of every social gathering or even just a simple dinner. To have a cold beer in your hand is like saying you are a Dutch man, and to swirl a glass of wine is like defining a Dutch woman. This is purely based on my standards though, because over and again, I hate alcohol.






Milk and Cheese, Bread and Potato

In contrast to my previous discussion, Dutch people are in one way very babyish when it comes to loving dairy products. I feel twenty years younger whenever I grab a bite of their cheese and my day wouldn’t be complete without a full cup of their milk. They are wonderfully processed which makes them taste delicate and fulfilling. Breads and potatoes represent our very own rice. I still haven’t got used to it but so far, I’m fine with it. There are several types of bread (written always in Dutch and I didn’t take time memorizing yet) but each slice is surprisingly heavy. Maybe it’s just me but just how much calories are in there?

The Subject of Money

The Netherlands is a rich country, alright, that is a given. And as far as I know, each citizen is quite secured and well-taken care of by their government and such. Money or career is not often a favorite subject because one knows the next day would be just as convenient as the other. HOWEVER, a Dutch person knows how to plan his/her spending. They are often mistaken as being too tight-fisted but the truth is, their future expenses have just been already outlined. Unnecessary shopping is not in their vocabulary. For them, spending too much money is to show-off, and they are not comfortable with that.

Liberal Minds

Nederlanders are always associated with liberal attitudes. Recently, they have become popular with laws tolerating homosexuality, euthanasia, drugs and prostitution. My stay here in Den Bosch have kept me off these kinds of encounters. But based on my interactions ranging from my boyfriend’s family to friends to acquaintances and down to his neighbors, they all tell me that they are only being practical. Drugs are accessible but the legality of its use doesn’t make it any more appealing. Supporting homosexuality only means a person is free to love any one he/she chooses to, regardless of gender.

Cycling Mania

Because of how small the country is, the places seem very close to each other, ergo, the use of bicycles. The roads are constructed widely to give a special place for those who cycle. Statistics say that there are even more bicycles than citizens. Some old, junky ones are just waiting for their rusty death. It’s funny that until now, I am still unsure of my cycling abilities. Every time I cycle around, I feel like people are giving me the do-you-know-what-you’re-doing kind of look.

 
The Need to be Independent

It has amazed me several times how Dutch people show independence. Going Dutch means not expecting anyone to cover for you on a social activity or gathering that requires paying, except on a one-on-one date where the gents usually pay for the ladies. When shopping, one always packs his/her own purchases. This is very much the opposite of what happens in the Philippines where aside from a cashier, we do have a bagger. The old ones are occasionally living their prime at a later age, still cycling around and helping their own selves. Children who reach the let-me-move-out phases of their lives, are very happy not to rely on their parents' blessings any longer.

Relationships and Social Standards

As a consequence of being socially tolerant, liberated and highly open-minded, Dutch people do not succumb to the whole idea of marriage. Many young couples move in together after 3-4-5 years of their relationships or as soon as they are financially prepared to. This is very common to western people, I guess, much like in America. There isn’t discrimination on who holds a better title. Whether you are a married, a registered or a live-in couple, you both deserve all the respect in the world. And no one can say that you are violating certain rules.

Minimalism

I find Dutch style very minimal and yet pleasing to the eye. White is the usual interior color of the houses and everything else is highly organized. They do not like clutter. They believe in the saying that ‘Simplicity is Beauty’. When things are too complicated to handle, they essentially do things one step after another. No need for multi-tasking (e.g. Manuel).

 
Well, there you go. I hope to give justice to the Dutch community and let alone, my very own Dutch man (who will read this in a while and will probably hate me).



Groetjes,


G

When Summer Left Me

for my sweetie

My hands feel cold now as the summer breeze quickly passes by leaving only marks of dull shadows. I’m afraid I may not end this piece with the thoughts of sitting outside, but then I love the fresh smell of the weather, something in between deceitfulness and chivalry. Well I never considered writing my heart out upon deciding to keep certain things to myself. I was quite sure that my translucent personality would give justice to my entire character: an ever mischievous yet tolerable woman, or vice versa, as one may prefer.

But I am twenty-five. Who knows, it can be near the end, the half or (hopefully) the quarter of my whole life. It seems promising to be able to express my mind into something tangible. Yet of course, words are as cold as this fleeting summer breeze. In words, I am often vain and mostly reluctant. Should I continue, I think I have seen quite several wonders. Some of it, one can really set his feet on, and some even farther than any one’s imagination. I often say that when I reach twenty-five I’ll probably be married and contented on a single career that would last until my retirement. Little do I know that it could be a twisted reality as I stand now above some foreign grounds; innocent, peculiar and untouchable.

A year and a half ago, I sat beside a pointed-nose man who saw me as a potential anxiety. He was too busy minding his own business, mending his broken heart and all his travelling-alone blues. Meanwhile, I was occupied thinking, how can I survive a 13-hour trip with a stranger, much more, a foreigner? So I gathered all my courage (and English back-ups) to ask the simplest question I had in mind: ‘From what country are you?’ And out of all the places in the world, how could a stranger next to me happen to be from a country that I only know one thing about: Tulips. It was crazy how I dealt with the rest of the trip trying to dig the innermost corner of my brain just so I can talk more about his country, and to keep his eyes on me. Because I know, and only me knows, I liked him. And to my surprise, keeping it up never really was the whole point. We we’re getting along well. Far from well.

For a couple of times, I was dazed with the idea that I had the best definition of falling in love and staying in love. However, just like this summer which quickly departs, I think that each good memory is meant to last so we can welcome a brand new season and appreciate its true beauty. So please let me say goodbye to this summer, as I bid farewell to the past. And allow me to welcome autumn, as I welcome my new season and my forever love.